Finding Friends in the Midst of Tyranny

 First, let us start with this.

 

 

The attack of the federal government on the citizens of Minnesota has made it impossible to concentrate on even the simplest of things. Taking out the garbage, cutting a tomato, brushing one's teeth -- all take an effort of steely will. Writing this summary of our book club discussion is no different. But as the lyric from The Minnesota Anthem (linked below) states:

 

We are the North Star blazing in the cold.  

We are the stories that the mountains told.  

From every tear we forge a flame.  

We call their names. We call their names.

Together we rise. 

Together we cry.

 

We gathered at Steve's to discuss Backman's book, but it was clear from the start that we would not be able to separate our analysis of the book from what we were experiencing in our community. When we met on January 19, circumstances were already dire. Masked gunmen were going door to door, without warrants, taking people into custody for the crime of not being white. We had no inkling of how much worse it would get. We shared with each other stories of what we knew personally, who we had talked to who seemed unaware, news coverage being sparse, and shifts in what we were seeing on social media, comments like "Usually, I'm not political, but..." and a sudden presence on LinkedIn, heretofore focused on business connections, of concern about federal over-reach.

 

So, apologies to Backman for what will be a less-than in-depth analysis of his book.

 

Getting Back to the Book

Title:  My Friends

Author: Fredrik Backman 

 

First, a brief description from the publisher:

 

"Most people don’t even notice them—three tiny figures sitting at the end of a long pier in the corner of one of the most famous paintings in the world. Most people think it’s just a depiction of the sea. But Louisa, an aspiring artist herself, knows otherwise, and she is determined to find out the story of these three enigmatic figures.

"Twenty-five years earlier, in a distant seaside town, a group of teenagers find refuge from their bruising home lives by spending long summer days on an abandoned pier, telling silly jokes, sharing secrets, and committing small acts of rebellion. These lost souls find in each other a reason to get up each morning, a reason to dream, a reason to love. 

 

"Out of that summer emerges a transcendent work of art, a painting that will unexpectedly be placed into eighteen-year-old Louisa’s care. She embarks on a surprise-filled cross-country journey to learn how the painting came to be and to decide what to do with it. The closer she gets to the painting’s birthplace, the more nervous she becomes about what she’ll find. Louisa is proof that happy endings don’t always take the form we expect in this stunning testament to the transformative, timeless power of friendship and art." 

 

Insights and Opinions

+ Steve brought us back to the book, which he characterized as a paean to art and to the poet, quoting this line from the text: "Art has the power to make you care about strangers."

 

+ Backman's main characters are rich and many-layered. "I cared about each of these people. Each of them is endearing in their own, odd way." Each of them is a misfit, which is a common theme in Backman's writing. Shirley pointed out, however, that the characterizations of "rich people" were thin caricatures, and Liz agreed, providing Backman some leeway here as these were Louisa's opinions.

 

+ The book cycles back and forth between the past and the present. The friendship formed by this group of thirteen-year-olds is unbreakable and relatable. Lois said: "Everybody feels odd at 13 and it's hard to find friends. If you connect with someone, that connection becomes really crucial to who you become."

 

+ Young Louisa, whose life has been a hard one, is expert at comic/sad awareness. On the train watching Ted try to laugh and fail, she thinks "When you get old, gravity pulls the corners of your mouth down. The road to a smile grows longer."

 

+ Backman's young characters survive their desperate lives because they have faith in each other. He writes "The world is full of miracles, but none greater than how far a young person can be carried by someone else's belief in them."

 

+ Linda pointed out the importance of the book's dedication. "To anyone who is young and wants to create something. Do it." What follows this dedication is a quote from Anton Ego: "The world is often unkind to new talent, new creations. The new needs friends." Backman has stated that these two thoughts are the reason for this book. 

 

+ Linda was stopped along the way by "some terrible metaphors," such as "Ted blushes so hard that you could have cooked waffles in his wrinkles." Liz agreed, saying "he's great with metaphors, but he just uses too many. Most of them are hilarious." As Chris noted, even the best writers need a good editor.

 

+ A few of us felt the ending was a bit too neat. Per Margy: "To me, it felt like the ending had been changed to give a happy resolution to these kids. I thought it was preposterous, but heart-warming." 

 

+ Overall, our group gave a hearty thumbs up to this novel and feel like it's a worthy addition to the Backman canon. 

 

Our Next Digression

Unable to continue having a meaningful conversation about this book, we were each asked to answer this question: Between your volunteer work and activism, how are you taking care of yourself during this difficult time? Our answers:

 

Jocey: "Reading like crazy. Lying on the couch reading reading reading. Novels. And watching movies. Escapism. 

 

Shirley: Listening to Mexican music, especially Alejandro Fernandez.

 

Steve: Hanging out with friends, exercising a lot, Nordic skiing, news blackouts.

 

Linda: Reading for distraction and exercising. I decided yesterday to stop watching CNN and the evening news. My phone is in the other room so I'm not constantly checking the alerts.

 

Lois: Losing myself in book after book. I almost don't judge them. I just go down my stack.

 

Liz: Painting tiny paintings and writing. Trying for chunks of news blackouts, but failing. 

 

Chris: I wish I were doing better. I travel, spend time with friends, don't look at the phone right away in the morning. No news until night. 

 

Margy: The solace of nature. It's just wonderful to be out here (in California). I go out first thing in the morning in my sandals and look at the mountains, and bike riding.

 

What We Will Read Next

Our book club selection for February is:

 

Title: Buckeye

Author: Patrick Ryan

Location: TBD 

 

The Minnesota Anthem 

 

 

 

 

A Wedding Where Nothing Is As It Seems

Title: Wedding People

Author: Alison Espach 

 

First, a brief summary from the publisher:

 

"It’s a beautiful day in Newport, Rhode Island, when Phoebe Stone arrives at the grand Cornwall Inn wearing a green dress and gold heels, not a bag in sight, alone. She’s immediately mistaken by everyone in the lobby for one of the wedding people, but she’s actually the only guest at the Cornwall who isn’t here for the big event. Phoebe is here because she’s dreamed of coming for years―she hoped to shuck oysters and take sunset sails with her husband, only now she’s here without him, at rock bottom, and determined to have one last decadent splurge on herself.

 

Meanwhile, the bride has accounted for every detail and every possible disaster the weekend might yield except for, well, Phoebe and Phoebe's plan―which makes it that much more surprising when the two women can’t stop confiding in each other." 

 

Insights and Opinions

This post should have been written much closer to the actual event in November when I still had my wits about me. But the holidays and current events intruded and so here we are. Better late than not at all.

 

A small group for this session, we gathered in the deluxe party room at Chris's new digs downtown. Chris graciously provided thematic wedding bites and champagne to usher in the conversation. After an aborted attempt to reach the meeting, Lois joined us late in the conversation by phone.

 

Please note: Spoilers abound in what follows, so if you haven't read the book yet, stop here and come back later.

 

+ As is our wont, we began with immediate disagreement. Was the plot entirely predictable? Chris thinks yes. Steve, on the other hand, was surprised at every step. Is this a romance novel? Margy thinks "sort of," but in the best sense. Liz then asked "what makes a romance novel? If there's romance, does that make it a romance novel?" Lois admitted to thinking "Oh, why do we have to read this. This isn't literature" and then kept reading and changed her mind entirely. Ultimately, we decided that this is a deeply thoughtful book masquerading as a light read. 

 

+ With every predictable beach-read trope, just as the reader is lulled into a false sense of assurance as to what comes next, Espach delivers a surprise. Phoebe, whose life is falling apart, is splurging with an unplanned getaway to her dream locale, unaware that everyone else is there for an over-the-top wedding. Lulled into a false sense of security, we readers assume hilarity will ensue. But then she meets and inadvertently injures the bride in an elevator and we find out her plan is to commit suicide there in the hotel. Surprise number one. The bride, horrified that a suicide will ruin her dream wedding, can't leave Phoebe alone, setting off the most unlikely of relationships. Surprise number two of many more to come.

 

+ Steve was taken by the way, as readers, we are led to believe we know a character, and then the author changes the game. "She introduces us to a one-dimensional person, and then flips the card. We meet the bride as a mindless twit and Phoebe as the intellectual, and then we see Phoebe as shallow. They move back and forth. How many times does she introduce a character who seems flat and now, suddenly, there's depth?"

 

+ Because everything in Phoebe's life has gone south and she is among strangers, she is, for the first time, able to be a truth-teller. Per Jocey: "Because of that, she grew and finally developed authentic relationships. Since reading this, I've thought of this deeply. If you weren't censoring yourself, how would you change?" Phoebe had always wanted to become more, and here, finally, she is able to become more. Steve, also an adjunct faculty member, related to Phoebe's professional life and found the book to be great academic satire. "This is a woman coming into her own under male domination. Ironically, she becomes that professor once she steps out of the ivory tower. Now she's in a place where people say 'Oh, you're the professor,' and they stop and listen." As Jocey stated, "Phoebe had started to feel stupid around her husband and friends. But in this new environment, everyone assumes she is brilliant."

 

+ Liz was struck by the power of the writing, as witnessed by simple, throw-away sentences, such as "her university is made of carpet," six words that say so much more and open a window into a stultifying academic life. Two of Espach's characters are named only High Bun and Neck Pillow for nearly half the book -- Phoebe's view of two of the wedding guests as she stands in line behind them waiting to check in at the hotel front desk.

 

+ Margy appreciated the less than tidy ending and loved the sub-plot about how apt a position as "winter keeper" at a 19th century mansion is for a 19th-century literature scholar.

 

+ Steve summed it all up for us: "This is a novel about surfaces and depth. Everything is a facade and a veneer and then you go deeper. Like Pauline (the front desk person), who is so attentive and warm until it's time for the next wedding and she flips the switch." 

 

How We Read This Book

Does one's experience of a book vary depending on how one reads it? I think yes, but that's a topic for a future post. For this read, our group was all over the map.

• Chris read it on her iPad in two sittings. 
• Margy read it in hardbound, starting slowly and then finishing in a marathon, which "I don't recommend because this is a book to savor." 
• Steve read about two-thirds of the book as an e-book, then finished it by listening on Audible, then went back and listened to the beginning. 
• Jocey read it on Kindle, twice. 
• Liz read a hard copy. 

Our Next Read

For January,  we will read My Friends by Fredrik Backman. Jocey will host.

Jocey, Chris and Liz enjoying the wedding spread.

 

 

Liz having some sort of spell.